The moment I finished Secrecy’s Cost and Ripple’s Reach, I turned to my patrons final story of the month, a comedy. For years I avoided the genre. I struggled with coming up with an idea and the timing never quite landed, and the structure always felt forced. Then, a little over a year ago, something clicked. I decided to shape my comedies after Abbott & Costello. I am not attempting to replicate their genius. I simply believe the old cliché that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. What follows is nothing more than an homage, offered in the hope of drawing a laugh or two.
In the quiet aftermath of a long-overdue cleaning, Sebastian’s storage room carries the evidence of interrupted order. Cardboard boxes sit half-open, their contents uncertain and their labels overly confident. A lantern rests against a wall that has witnessed more containment than use. Dust lingers in the air while filtered light softens the room and dulls any sense of urgency.
On the floor, small objects gather as though awaiting instruction. A clay pot claims its patch of concrete. A sack of beans slumps beside it, patient and unassuming. Nearby, a box bears a handwritten disclaimer that feels more defensive than informative. At first glance, nothing appears remarkable, yet everything seems poised to be given meaning.
It is the sort of setting where ordinary items linger just long enough to invite interpretation. A room that might remain nothing more than extra storage, or might become something else entirely. All it requires is attention, conviction, and someone willing to explain what the rest of us might overlook.
Excerpt of Perpetual Majesty
Sebastian tapped the box with his foot, then lifted it with a sigh. His gaze drifted from the handwritten label to the cactus looming over him. A shadow slid across his face. He lowered it as he turned.
“What’s up, Jimmy?”
His friend pointed to the words on the container. “What does ‘Miscellaneous (Doubtful of any Royal Connection)’ mean?”
“Who knows,” Sebastian said as he rose and tapped the bag in Jimmy’s grasp. “What’s with those beans you’ve been carrying around? Do we know where they came from?”
“I am not sure.”
Sebastian jerked a thumb at the houseplant behind him. “I’m surprised you’re not more curious about this.”
Jimmy shrugged, dangling the seeds as he inched toward the prickly plant. “Didn’t you buy the cactus a few months back? I am amazed it ended up in storage, but not shocked we found it buried in the mess that spilled out of your place.”
Sebastian wiped his face as he rolled his shoulders. He studied the spot where Jimmy had been working through his stuff. Debris littered the corner like a renovation that had lost its funding. He shook his head as he opened the box and sifted through the contents. After a second, he withdrew a small golden crown and stared at it. He brushed the clinging dust off the thing before brandishing the toy. “I’m guessing this explains the disclaimer.”
“How could that not be royal?”
Sebastian’s shoulders drooped as he flicked the crown. “It isn’t real.”
“What are you talking about?” Jimmy rushed forward and grabbed his friend’s shirt, pulling him closer. “That’s a crown!”
Sebastian knocked Jimmy’s hands off him and waved the crown about. “This is a child’s toy! It’s decorative and nothing more than a hunk of molded plastic.”
With a gasp, Jimmy backed up, clutching his chest. “You’re denigrating the crown? Have you considered how many realms collapsed when subjects disregarded their sovereign? Even disrespecting the symbol of that authority can destroy an empire. You must not insult the ruler or the throne.”
Sebastian sighed, pinching his nose. After several deep breaths, he opened his eyes and stared at his friend. “Name a single kingdom. I’d settle for one leader who suffered that fate.”
“Atlantis,” Jimmy said, puffing out his chest.
“Atlantis?” Sebastian’s mouth fell as he leaned forward. “First, Atlantis is nothing more than a myth. And second, that mythological city sank in the ocean.”
“See!” Jimmy thrust a finger at Sebastian. “You cannot reign over anyone if your crown is lost at sea.”
“Jimmy, that’s not—”
“We need to respect the crown, no matter how localized the rule might be.” He untied the bag and poured some of the beans onto his palm…
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